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Get Up

Last week brought one of those surprises you hope you never get. My stomach had been upset off and on for a while, but I had assumed it was related to diet, maybe a developing food intolerance. The pain had come and gone and hadn’t disrupted life badly enough for me to talk to any doctor about it yet. Then last week happened. Starting Wednesday afternoon, the pain steadily increased. Seeing me doubled over in tears on the floor Thursday night convinced my husband he needed to get me to the ER pronto. A few tests later, the culprit was exposed: a badly inflamed, stone-filled gallbladder. Fast-forward three days through an unexpectedly complicated surgery and subsequent procedure, I finally made it home from the hospital. Thankfully I’ve been recovering well ever since, looking forward to getting life back to normal.

As I have focused on resting and healing my physical body this week, I couldn’t help but pause when I opened my Bible the other day and happened to see the story “The Healing at the Pool” in John chapter 5. I have read this compassionate story of healing so many times; it’s one of my favorites. It still surprises me how the Holy Spirit can teach me something new and striking from such familiar verses. And how He brings my attention to them at just the right time.

Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades. Here a great number of disabled people used to lie — the blind, the lame, the paralyzed. One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

“Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.

John 5: 2-9 (NIV)

The lesson He had for me today was in the unexpectedness of this unsought healing. Christ walked this earth for 33 short years. I don’t believe a single thing he did was by accident. Every moment was preordained. Every word and action held significance and illuminated truth for us. He didn’t accidentally stumble across the pool called Bethesda. He didn’t pick an invalid at random. He had a plan and a purpose. He knew this forgotten, hopeless man was there desperately longing for healing, and He went to him specifically. 

But while Christ foreknew of this predestined meeting, the crippled man did not. He was lost in his miserable despair. He was not seeking out Christ. In fact, what little hope he may have held on to was misplaced. He thought the pool could heal him. He desperately wanted to be healed. But he couldn’t do what was necessary on his own to acquire the healing. 

Then Christ appeared. Given the man’s response to Jesus, he apparently did not know with whom he spoke. He never asked Jesus to help him. Think about that for a moment. Christ showed up in this man’s life uninvited. Offered healing unrequested. Granted forgiveness in whole. He didn’t sit off to the side and wait for the man to approach or call out to Him. He didn’t send his disciples to fetch him. Jesus Himself went. He sought out this man specifically. He initiated the entire encounter.

What part did the man play in this story? He did all he had to do: he followed the directions Jesus gave him: “Get up!” It was that simple. The man stood up, picked up his mat, and walked! How great is the love of Jesus that He meets us where we are when we don’t even know we need Him, shows us the way to spiritual healing, and offers us an absolute reconciliation with God. All we have to do is follow another famous directive found in Matthew 11:28: “Come to Me.” 

There are so many intrinsic truths nestled in the full story of this man’s healing. Through the supernatural greatness of this act of healing and the timing of the event, Christ once again attested to His divinity. In verse 21, we learn that life itself comes from Christ. We see that Jesus has been granted the “authority to judge” (verse 27). But the truth I needed to be reminded of this week is revealed in the unexpected, unsolicited, unconditional love and compassion the man found in Christ. 

Physical healing is nice. Spiritual healing is vital. As I continue to rest my body and pray for physical healing, I renew my thanksgiving to the Savior who revealed Himself to me, pursued me, offered me His love, granted me His pardon, and atoned me with His blood. He has already made me whole and granted me perfect healing. Regardless of my physical state, I am made new in Him.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV)

If you are reading this blog, Jesus has already initiated His encounter with you. Maybe you have followed His command and received His healing. Or maybe you’re still considering your response. Will you come to Him and accept His healing? He’s already done all the work. He sought you out and found you. He paid the price for your healing. All you have to do is accept it. It’s time to get up and live.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16 (NIV)

The Daughter Whom Jesus Loves

I wholeheartedly believe that every word in the Bible is the true, inspired word of God and that each verse holds importance in the life of the believer, yet I can’t help but feel a particular pull time and again to the Gospel of John. I make a point to read through the book at least once in the month or so leading up to Easter. It’s a habit formed a few years back that has really helped focus my mind and my thoughts during this holy season. 

This year, I hope to read through it three times with a different intent with each reading. I just finished the first last night. I read about a chapter a day over the last few weeks. Next, I plan to read it straight through in a day or two, the way I might read a good novel. I’d like to think through some of the themes that make this gospel unique and pay particular attention to the author’s voice and perspective in a quicker read. Lastly, I plan to take it verse by verse or passage by passage, spending time in mindful, Biblical meditation, pondering the words of Christ.  

As I wrapped up the first reading yesterday, something hit me. I have always found it unexpected that the author refers to himself as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.” I guess it struck me as a little boastful in a way, though I never thought that about the apostle himself, only this peculiar moniker. In thinking of the close-knit group of disciples, who must have had a strong brotherly bond, it seemed strange that John would repeatedly refer to the Teacher’s special love for him and not the others. It would be like me referring to myself as “the child my father loves” in the same sentence in which I simply mention my other siblings by name – strange to say the least! 

All of a sudden last night, however, I saw this description in a whole new light. Christ’s love for us is so unexpected, unwarranted, and undeserved – it makes sense that John, who no doubt had an even more profound understanding of this after seeing Jesus’ perfect life and gruesome death, would be in a state of perpetual wonder that the all-knowing, all-powerful Creator would love him enough to die for him. Perhaps he simply couldn’t mention himself without talking about the love of Christ. 

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. 

John 15:9 (NIV)

John started both his gospel account and his first epistle focusing on the eternality of Jesus, quite definitively putting to rest any question about Christ’s deity. He also focused a great deal on the fellowship of the trinity, of Christ with His believers, and of the believers with each other. John knew without any doubt whatsoever that he had witnessed the perfect life, the atoning death, and the authenticating resurrection of the One and Only Son of God. He also knew that true life was only gained through relationship with Christ, which flows entirely from His love for us.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16 (NIV)

The realization that the God of all creation, the One who was and is and is to come, loved this disciple enough to die a horrific death on the cross, must have been overwhelming. No wonder he saw himself not as John, but as someone dearly loved by Christ!

Just as soon as I grabbed hold of this thought last night, I realized the implication of this to me personally. We talk a lot about our identity in Christ in today’s church. I’ve never thought about that applying to my name. I am not just Kim. I am not just a generic “me.” I am the daughter whom Jesus loves.

See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

I John 3:1a (NIV)

How would it change my perspective on things if I thought of myself in such terms? What happens if I apply that when I journal or pray? How would my faith change? How would my thoughts and actions change? Instead of being mired in worry and self-doubt, in guilt and regret, maybe I would move forward with confidence not just as a woman named Kim, but as the daughter whom Jesus loves. 

As I continue to read and meditate on Christ’s words in the coming weeks, I want to remember this identity. I am a child loved by Jesus – the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, the Creator, Redeemer, and Death Defeater. So are you, my friend! The Bible says that God IS love. What better way to see ourselves than as the object of His great love! 

John went to great lengths in his writing to prove Christ’s authority, power, and love for us. In the first few verses of his first epistle, we see why: “And these things we write to you that your joy may be full” (I John 1:4 NIV). This is a close echo to the words of Christ found in John 15:11: “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete” (NIV). We must understand and accept Jesus’ deity, His redemption, and His love for us if we ever want to experience true joy. If you’re wondering about any of these things, a great place to start discovering Christ is the gospel of John and the book of I John. There’s no better time than right now to discover the truth of who Christ is and the depth of His love for you.

Thank you for reading. Please leave comments comments below or email me through the blog. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

I John 4:7-11 (NIV)

Letting Go

I am a dreamer. Or at least, I was a dreamer. This year seems to have had a singular focus of ripping away every last one of my dreams. Maybe I’m being a bit melodramatic at the moment, but that is how I feel today!

In the past I’ve often been discouraged when the plans I had for my life were derailed or when the great expectations I created for a situation failed to happen. I’m sure I’m not the only one to experience this disappointment on a whole new level in 2020. Discouragement isn’t even a valid word for this. Melancholy. Despair. Depression even. Those are much more apt. 

The last few days have been particularly hard. I’m sure it’s partly the coming election, partly the monotony and loneliness of life in a pandemic, and partly the weight of financial stress right now. It’s all collided into a perfect storm of fear, anger, and sadness. I think I’ve done a pretty good job of looking on the bright side until recently (at least, I’ve tried really hard!). Now I’m having a difficult time seeing anything but the gloom. My mind continues to inform me that this too will pass, but my heart is struggling to see past the deluge of sorrow. 

As it so often happens, though, God knew just how to reach me in the midst of this storm. I’ve been reading through I Kings and just recently came upon one of my favorite parts of the Old Testament – the stories of Elijah. Today’s reading brought me to God’s great performance on Mount Carmel (chapter 18). Elijah must have been feeling pretty good after God’s magnificent display and his subsequent victory over the false prophets. The drought ended, the people saw God’s goodness and might, and the wicked King Ahab showed signs of possible spiritual restoration. 

But just as a new day seemed to be dawning in Israel, Ahab’s infamous wife Jezebel issued a death warrant for God’s anointed prophet. Elijah fled into the wilderness where he hoped to meet his end. In I Kings 19:4, he proclaimed: “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” He’s at the end of his rope! He feels he can’t take any more disappointment. This isn’t what he expected after God’s great triumph. He doesn’t understand what else is to be accomplished, and he feels completely and utterly alone. 

Twice during this pessimistic period in the wilderness God asks him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” Twice he answers: “I have been very zealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken Your covenant, torn down Your altars, and killed Your prophets with the sword. I alone am left; and they seek to take my life.”

Can you identify with Elijah’s emotions here? Isolated, despondent, feeling entirely doomed. Though I can’t equate my current circumstances to the prophet’s, I can certainly relate to his feelings. And I doubt it’s much of a risk to suppose there are others out there also feeling alone and disheartened today. 

Elijah’s life did not end with this episode in the wilderness. God still had much more planned for him. Think of all Elijah would have missed out on if God had granted his request to take his life. Most notably, he would have missed out on one of the most intriguing departures from this world recorded in scripture! (See II Kings 2 for that amazing story!)

Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel…

I Kings 19:18 (NKJV)

Instead of granting his request, God revealed to Elijah what was previously unknown to him: “Yet I have reserved seven thousand in Israel, all whose knees have not bowed to Baal, and every mouth that has not kissed him.” (I Kings 19:18) God also informed Elijah that He had much more work for him to do, including anointing two future kings and his spiritual successor, Elisha. His life was still precious and still important. 

If you are feeling disappointed and discouraged this morning, please know that God views your life as precious. You are and always will be important. We can never see more than what is revealed to us in the moment. Or in other words, we don’t know what we don’t know! I am certain that God has more in store for your life than what you see and know today.

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous be shaken.

Psalm 55:22 (NIV)

One last thing stuck out to me as I was reading today. The notes in my study Bible (Nelson Study Bible, NKJV, 1997) include an interesting comment on verse 18: “Although in each generation there are great spiritual leaders who do the work of God, there is a community of God among everyday people whose lives are not spectacular but who live faithfully for God.” I often feel disheartened that my life is not “spectacular” in my own estimation. Today God reminded me that just like those 7,000 mentioned in I Kings 19, I have a role to play in His family and in His will for this earth if I just live faithfully for Him. What a privilege that is to be one among the community of God! 

I know without a doubt that my dreams for my life are nothing compared to the plans God has for me. And I know this is true for every one of His followers. He is the Author of all good things. I don’t believe God causes our pain and suffering in this life – that is all brought on by Satan, our own sin, and chaos that comes with a fallen world. I do believe, however, that when we face the reality of shattered dreams and broken hearts, God will sustain us and will work to bring about His good and perfect will in the end. That is the foundation of my unbreakable joy today and every day.

I leave you with the first few lines of Lauren Daigle’s song “Trust in You:”

Letting go of every single dream

I lay each one down at Your feet

Every moment of my wandering

Never changes what You see

Songwriters: Lauren Daigle / Paul Marbury / Michael Farren
Trust In You lyrics © DistroKid, Essential Music Publishing

What dream is God asking you to let go today? Letting go is not the same as giving up. It just means we’re trusting Him, believing in His goodness, and that we truly mean it when we say “I want what you want, Lord, and nothing less.”

Refining My Perspective

What words would you use to describe 2020? I’m sure we can all come up with some colorful descriptors for this year. Unusual, unforeseen, unprecedented, unimaginable, uncomfortable. Certainly unforgettable.  

There are lots of articles and posts filling our news feeds these days with truly awful stories and statistics. I have come to realize that my healthiest option is to stay off social media and news sites as much as possible right now. It’s difficult if not impossible to determine truth and keep a positive outlook. Now, granted, we can’t just live in a shell, hiding from the reality of the pain and problems all around us. But I do believe we should be purposeful about how we view those things in order to keep a proper perspective. 

Perspective is a word I have thought about a lot in 2020. This bizarre mashup of a global pandemic, social unrest, and national political turmoil has required that I constantly check my perspective of things. It’s easy to get sucked in to whatever rhetoric is being shouted loudest at the moment. The difficulty is in keeping focused on the things that truly matter and maintaining the right perspective.

As a follower of Christ, my perspective is hopefully primarily shaped by my faith and by what I read in the Bible, and secondarily by my life experiences. Spiritually speaking, none of us here on earth have perfect vision, even those of us who have walked with Christ for decades. We all see the world through different lenses. Some of our lenses are smudged with flawed theology, some are warped with bitterness, some are thick with immaturity. Some are cracked and some are soot-covered. Some of our lenses give us inadequate depth perception so we focus too much on things in the moment or too much in the future or the past. 

With such flaws in my own vision, I often wonder how I can ever hope to have a good perspective in times like this. I know the simple answer is by staying in prayer, keeping focused on Christ, and meditating on His word. What I’ve come to learn – and mostly accept – in this year of 2020, though, is that I will not always have a perfect perspective every moment of every day. There will be times when I lose perspective and the current virtual learning struggle with my child will seem completely overwhelming. There may be times when a news story or post by a close friend makes me question my firm convictions. There may be times when financial stresses leave me worried about the future. And there may be times when sickness or injury cause me to question God’s goodness. 

These moments of skewed perspective, though, do not define me or my faith. On the contrary, they grow my faith. Every one of these moments that I live through and emerge from clarifies my earthly vision a little more. And not a single one of these moments comes to me without Christ allowing it. He is using them to refine me, to focus my vision, to sharpen my perspective. As Malachi writes:

He will sit as a smelter and purifier of silver, and He will purify the sons of Levi and refine them like gold and silver, so that they may present to the LORD offerings in righteousness.

Malachi 3:3 NASB

So today, in the midst of juggling work at home and virtual learning, while I pray for a job for my husband and a vaccine for this virus, I will be thankful to God for the hard times He allows. I will pray that He continues to teach me to filter my thoughts through the truth of His word. And I will rejoice that through it all He is purifying my vision little by little, day by day, difficult moment by difficult moment.

Have you also struggled with perspective lately? How is Christ sharpening your focus today? How can you actively participate in this process? What will you gain from a truer perspective?

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Isaiah 26:3 NLT

Another New Normal

No matter what news show you watch right now or what friend you talk to, the term “new normal” seems to be on everyone’s lips. 

At times there’s fear associated with these words. What will our new normal be like this fall? Will the kids still be elearning? (Please, God, no!) Will the stock market bounce back? Will jobs return? 

Other times there’s hope and optimism. We are adaptable! We are resilient! We can figure this out! 

Sometimes there’s anger. We don’t need a new normal – we need to get back to our old normal! 

I started thinking about this term the other day, and it’s been bouncing around in my brain ever since. I’ll admit, I’ve gone back and forth between all those emotions. But as the fear and anger and chaos start to creep into my thoughts, there are other words I begin to hear as well, words that are far more true and worthy of my attention. 

Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. 

John 14:27 NKJV

These are the words of Jesus as He is preparing his disciples for His death and resurrection. He knew they would soon be facing a period of intense turmoil, followed by a radical transformation in their lives and the world at large. Before long they would find themselves in an unexpected new normal.

Let’s be real – the new normal they were facing was a much bigger change than wearing face masks and staying 6 feet away from others. It was even bigger than losing a loved one or a job. 

They would be coming to grips first with the violent death of their beloved Teacher, then with the reality that He had the power to raise Himself to life again. Not to mention the internal change that would come with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost (Acts 2). Their new normal would involve starting the largest spiritual movement the world has ever known. They would face death and persecution from their government and their former religious leaders. 

In the moments depicted in John 14, Jesus knew all of this was in store for His friends. How did He go about preparing them? He described the peace they would find in Him, peace that was “not as the world gives.” He assured them this isn’t your everyday run-of-the-mill peace. It’s not that post-yoga class zen or the calmness that comes from listening to your favorite music; it’s not even the stillness you find when out alone in nature. 

The peace Christ promised His followers is a peace that cannot be found apart from Him. Because of this supernatural peace, they would be able to accept, endure, and rise to meet the changes and the challenges that lay ahead in their new normal. 

Jesus’ words from 2,000 years ago are a reminder today that as Christians we already have everything we need in order to face our new normal, whatever that might be. This peace that He gives us passes all understanding. It’s powerful. It’s permanent. It’s not affected by pandemics, plagues, or politics. 

Look at how Luke ends his account of Jesus’ life. After His ascension into Heaven, Christ’s disciples “returned to Jerusalem with great joyand were continually in the temple praising and blessing God.” (Luke 24:52b-53)

Jesus had told them what was to come, had given them a glimpse of the hardships and persecutions they would face (John 15:20-21). They knew the dangers of promoting a new religion in the age of the Roman Empire and in contradiction to the Jewish authorities. Yet they were neither afraid nor angry at what was to come. They were joyful. 

Let’s hold on to these verses in the weeks and months ahead as we see our way of life change. While some will face this new normal with fear and anger, we can choose to hold onto the peace that comes from Christ alone, the peace that gives us this unbreakable joy. 

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.

John 16:33 (NKJV)

If you’d like to know more about Jesus and the peace that He promises, please comment below or contact me through social media. I would love to talk with you! 

Do you have any thoughts on this “new normal” everyone is talking about? What times in the past have you had to face a new normal? 

The Day the Toilet Paper Disappeared

I was a bit distracted from the news that week. We welcomed a foster daughter (let’s call her T) into our home 6 days prior, with the thought it would likely be a longer-term placement. She was having a hard time, missing her mom and her home, so most of my attention had been fixed on her. That Thursday, I went to church where I work in childcare one morning a week. T enjoyed her first day in the pre-K class before we met friends at the park for a picnic. Every moment was still full of firsts for T, but she was handling it all like a champ. I had realized by this point the best remedy for moments of sadness were a long hug and some soft words of comfort. If given her moment to grieve, she’d bounce right back to that sweet smile soon enough. 

Prior to T’s arrival, I had closely followed the coronavirus crisis in China, praying diligently for the safety of my ESL students on the other side of the world. I knew it was starting to spread globally, but it still seemed a long way away from our little town in South Carolina. I remember, though, my co-workers that Thursday morning talking about the virus and my friend and I at the park discussing whether or not we should be concerned. There were so many other things taking up space in my mind that the growing alarm around me still didn’t fully register. 

Half-way through our picnic and playtime, I got a text I wasn’t expecting. T would be leaving us that day, going to live with a family member (so we were told). I had a million questions and no answers. My mind started racing with all the things I needed to do. We quickly put away our lunches and headed home to start packing. After picking up my boys at school, the kids enjoyed a few more minutes playing together outside before it was time to say goodbye. 

It was around 3:00 when we said goodbye and I gave her one last hug. My husband unfortunately was unable to get home from work that quickly. When he did get home, our conversation focused, of course, on the events of the day. He held me as I cried. We talked with our boys and walked with them through some of their feelings. 

Yet even in sadness and pain, other parts of life have a way of marching on as they always have. Since Friday is my typical grocery day, my husband mentioned we were running low on toilet paper, then said he thought he’d seen something about toilet paper on Facebook that day. I said I saw a joke about someone running low on toilet paper too. Weird, huh? 

One comment led to another, which led to another. Eventually out of curiosity and rising concern, we each headed to our phones. Sure enough, social media was full of dire news that toilet paper shelves were bare. I can’t begin to explain my confusion and disbelief in that moment. Nor do I think I need to, because surely this is a shared experience we all have in common!

Perhaps this wasn’t quite as shocking to some who had been engaged in the developing news story all week. For me, it felt like my feet had been kicked out from under my already shaky legs. I stared at my husband: “Do you think I need to go to Walmart tonight? Or can it wait till tomorrow?” Back and forth we went for twenty valuable minutes. Finally, I decided to push past my emotional exhaustion and hit the store that night. An hour later, after stopping at multiple stores, I headed home empty handed.

My husband, who is ever resourceful, entirely stubborn, and petrified of the thought of no toilet paper, didn’t rest that night until he had secured us a 60-count box of toilet paper on Amazon – even though it cost three times what it should have. I’ve never been so grateful for his maddening persistence!

By the end of the day, as we lay in bed not knowing what the days and weeks to come would hold, my husband and I prayed for peace and safety, as we so often do, for our family, for our foster kids (past and future), and for the world. We grieved, we worshipped, and we looked ahead with hope. Now, eight weeks later, as our state cautiously emerges from lockdown, I am reminded of the day that started it all: the day the toilet paper disappeared. I know my response today should be the same as it was then. I will take a moment to grieve for what’s been lost. I will worship in gratitude. I will look ahead to the future with hope. I will continue to pray for the peace and safety of us all.

The Sound of Her Silence

Do you have a favorite book of the Bible? I have two really – the book of John, full of so many of Jesus’ words, and the book of Ruth, with its beautifully woven love story. The Bible is full of stories involving marriage and family, but few give such detail of love and devotion as the story of Ruth. I’ve always been a sucker for romance, so this book is one I’ve returned to over and over again. In addition to the love story, however, Ruth is chocked full of Biblical qualities to learn from: courage, compassion, faithfulness, friendship, sacrifice, the list goes on. And then there is the unmistakable and powerful analogy between Boaz and Christ, our one true Redeemer. With so many lessons this book can teach us, I never fail to learn something new from its pages. 

Reading Ruth today, however, my mind focused for the first time not on Ruth or Boaz, but on Naomi. Ruth’s mother-in-law is a central character in the story. As a younger, dewy-eyed reader, however, I passed right over her and focused on the younger heroine. Perhaps because we’re living in a time of pandemic, recession, and grocery shortages or perhaps because of my more matronly age now, whatever the reason, today Naomi’s character took on a new significance in the story.

As she returns to her hometown penniless and destitute, having lost her husband, her children, and all normalcy of life, Naomi feels as if she has been afflicted by God Himself. She does not rejoice for the one constant God has given her (Ruth). On the contrary, she claims she has been emptied, there is nothing good left in her life. The text does not tell us she prays for a change in circumstance or looks to God for rescue. As I read of her return to Bethlehem, I see a depressed Naomi who cannot see past her plight. She seems to have lost all hope.

Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband.

Ruth 1:5b NIV

Ruth is Naomi’s faithful daughter-in-law; she refuses to leave Naomi even when given her blessing to do so. Though we have no insight into Ruth’s faith in God prior to the start of her journey with Naomi, from her avowal in chapter 1 verses 16-17 and her actions following we see a woman who willingly left her people, her religion, her family, and her customs in order to stay with Naomi as she returned to herpeople, herreligion, herfamily, andher customs. Ruth showed an intense commitment to Naomi and this new way of life. Yet Naomi’s response to this is surprisingly silent. After Ruth’s beautiful, poetic response in verses 16-17, we read “When [Naomi] saw that she was determined to go with her, she stopped speaking to her.” 

But Ruth said “Entreat me not to leave you or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge. Your people will be my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried. The Lord do so to me, and more also, if anything but death parts you and me.”

Ruth 1:16-17 NKJV

After they arrived in Bethlehem, it is Ruth, a foreigner unfamiliar with the local customs, who first suggests going to glean in the barley fields. Naomi’s response? “Go, my daughter.” At least she responded with words that time! Naomi and Ruth are in survival mode, subsisting off other people’s leftovers. Naomi knows the people of Bethlehem, knows the customs and laws, yet we see no indication that she is formulating any plans for their future.  

As I read through these first couple of chapters in Ruth today, Naomi’s relative silence is what speaks the loudest to me. I can’t help but draw parallels to our current situation. Many have reacted to this pandemic with prayers, cries for help, and social media posts. But others, myself included, have reacted with relative silence. That’s what my depression does: it silences me. 

There have been moments these last two months when I have found myself unable to speak or pray or cry or even write. Thankfully, for the most part, these have just been moments. I realize for others, this is a more prolonged response. That’s why I think the story of Naomi is so important right now. 

We can look at the short book of Ruth as a whole and see past Naomi’s silent season. In these four concise chapters, we see a story from beginning to end. We see her loss and pain, her silent depression, and her eventual restoration. Since we don’t have the ability to see our current crisis from beginning to end, I see the book of Ruth as a reminder that every loss can be restored, every desperate cry satisfied, every need accomplished, every fear dispelled.

In my small group last night, we talked about hope (specifically the hope of His callingas mentioned in Ephesians 1:18). We discussed how the hope we find in Christ is different from hoping that our team wins the game or even hoping that the scourge of COVID-19 ends quickly. Secular sources often define hope as an optimistic desire for a positive outcome. The biblical definition, however, would read more like this: a confident expectationthat God’s promises are true. It involves trusting rather than wishing.  

Although I have lately been struggling in my silence, today I choose to cling to my Hope. Though I feel sadness and pain, today I choose to meditate on God’s promises, training my mind to hope, rather than despair. I acknowledge this doesn’t mean every moment will be happy, but every moment can be rooted in my faith and trust in the One who has never let me down, the One who redeemed Naomi and Ruth and who I know has already redeemed us as well. 

Oh Lord, thank You for the story of Naomi and Ruth. Thank You for opening my eyes today to the dynamic character of Naomi, to her growth and restoration. As your people struggle through the death and destruction facing our world today, help us cling to the hope to which you have called us. Grow your people through this difficult time and restore to us in the end all that has been lost. Our hope is in You alone. Amen.

I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe.

Ephesians 1:18-19 NKJV

Peace in Pandemic

Do you have this same terrible torn-apart feeling that I have at the moment, caused by constantly clashing thoughts, feelings, facts, and opinions? Talk about cognitive dissonance! I feel a need to stay connected to what is happening, to be in prayer for those suffering around the world, to be able to pray specifically for our leaders. Yet every time I turn on the TV or click that social media icon, I’m thrown into this violent pendulum of speculation and accusation. From every corner of debate, we’re hearing bullish voices of panic screaming – on one side “We’re all going to die! If you leave your house you have blood on your hands!” on the other side “The government is stripping away our rights! So long to democratic freedoms!” 

It’s hard to know what to think or even believe about this pandemic. And it’s really hard to keep any kind of perspective on what’s happening. That’s when it is most important to seek out what God has to say about times like these. Today, I stumbled across Psalm 4.

1Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness!
You have relieved me in my distress;
Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer.

How long, O you sons of men,
Will you turn my glory to shame?
How long will you love worthlessness
And seek falsehood? Selah
But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself him who is godly;
The Lord will hear when I call to Him.

Be angry, and do not sin.
Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah
Offer the sacrifices of righteousness,
And put your trust in the Lord.

There are many who say,
“Who will show us any good?”
Lord, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us.
You have put gladness in my heart,
More than in the season that their grain and wine increased.
I will both lie down in peace, and sleep;
For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 8, NKJV

Verse 1 says “You have relieved me in my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.” Distressed is a good description of us today, isn’t it? So many people around the world are crying out to God to relieve our distress over this virus. We hope that He hears us. We pray for His mercy. We believe His righteousness. 

Even so, we still seek worthlessness and falsehood. Most of what we’ve heard on the news or seen on social media for the last two months has been proven false or overblown or underblown, yet we still tune in or scroll on soaking in more disinformation and deception.  

Those of us who have a true relationship with God knowHe hears us, and we trustin His righteousness. We should be much more focused on Him in this moment than on what mere humans are saying, even if those who hold MDs and PHDs by their names. 

Look at verse 4; this is the verse that first caught my eye here! David says to “Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.” Y’all, that is the actual scripture right there, and it’s so timely it feels like it could have been written this morning. About all we can do right now is meditate on our bed! We can’t go to the yoga studio or the park, but we can go sit on our bed…again. And this time we will put away our phones, turn off the TV, and sit in silence. We will be purposeful to ignore the distractions and anxieties we are holed up with, and we will focus on our Rescuer, the One who put that gladness in our hearts. Then we will lie in peace, knowing that He makes us dwell in safety. 

If this sounds totally foreign to you, maybe today’s the day for you to start seeking God. A great place to start is by downloading the YouVersion Bible app and reading through the gospel of John. Seek Him and Christ promises you will find Him. Then you too can discover this peace even in times of pandemic. 

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.”

Matthew 7:7-8

About Me and My Blog

Hey, I’m Kim. I hope to meet you soon. But let’s let this be our pre-introduction. If you’re going to stick around, you want to know who’s behind the words on these pages, right? So let me tell you a little about myself. Like you, I wear lots of hats. Some of my hats bear labels like wife, mom, friend, daughter, teacher, house cleaner, food maker, kid toter, appointment handler. Maybe you have similar hats as well, or maybe your hats are pretty different. One thing I’m sure that we have in common is that we want to experience a joyful life. Not just momentary fleeting happiness, but day-in-day-out joy. Often we use those words interchangeably. The dictionary even uses one to define the other. But I believe there is a distinct difference between them that lies at the heart of all we desire in life. 

Happiness is great, right? Think about those things that make you happy. For me, it’s a baby’s belly laugh. The smell of fresh baked bread. S’mores by a campfire. Holding my husband’s hand. Tucking my kids in at night. Gathering with family and friends at the holidays. These things make me truly happy! And that feeling is often my biggest motivation to plan the holiday get-together, (tell my husband to) build the campfire, mix and knead the dough. But when those moments are over, the happiness is sometimes replaced with other feelings – like sadness from saying goodbye, exhaustion from staying up too late, or guilt after I’ve eaten all the fresh baked bread. 

I’ve come to realize that when I spend my time chasing happiness, I am really chasing something that cannot last long in this life. Happiness is good and important and a gift from God as well. But there is something we are offered that is even greater than happiness, something we don’t have to chase, something we can find only through our relationship with Christ. 

Joy is a word our culture so often brings up only at Christmas. While it’s true Christmas is a great time to be reminded of what joy really is, joy is not something that’s available only during December. Joy can be ours to have every moment of every day. Joy is not affected by emotions. Joy is not stomped out by sickness, job loss, divorce, or pandemic. Joy lives hand-in-hand with peace. Joy abides deep in our souls. Joy is a gift that remains. 

I hope this blog is a reminder to us both what joy really is…

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:13

No Better Time

Here’s my honest truth. Lately I’ve been lazy. A couple of months ago, I felt called to start a new adventure, a blog called “Joy Unbreakable.” I went to WordPress, signed up for a domain, waded through all this technical stuff I still don’t understand…and that was it. Coronavirus lockdowns started happening and my mind froze from stress and the sheer amount of things I had to think about – disinfecting, meal prepping, elearning, TP shopping – it all came a little too fast for me. My honest truth is that I forgot all about this blog thing for a while – forgot or maybe more honestly chose to neglect it – either way, today I’m deciding to change that.

I’ve thought about starting a blog many times in the past. I just couldn’t ever settle on any particular topic or name. I like to write, but it does take time. I have worked as a writer and editor in the past, but after 10 years at home with my kids, I worried I’d lost any ability I’d ever had. And then there’s the tech aspect. Anyone who knows me knows that the hate far outweighs the love in my love-hate relationship with technology.

But two months ago, I heard the name “Joy Unbreakable” loud and clear, and all of a sudden, I knew it was time. As with everything else in my life, I have moved slowly, but nonetheless, here I am. My husband and I are in the middle of many changes in life, some are exciting, others are terrifying. What better time than now to cling to and proclaim my unbreakable joy in Jesus Christ!

Hop on over here to learn more about me and my family. I hope as the pages of this blog multiply that you will find time to visit again!  

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Romans 12:12